A   C o m p r e h e n s i v e   M a n u a l
What might have made the meeting go
Taking the time to reflect on the meeting
and check in with people after the meet 
ing is an essential part of having success 
Who missed the meeting?
ful meetings.  Checking in on tasks,
reaching out to new folks, clearing up
Are there any outstanding unresolved
unresolved feelings/misunderstandings,
conflicts? feelings? 
and helping people feel valued are neces 
sary to building and maintaining a strong
Was someone totally quiet during the
group.  One to one discussions after the
whole meeting?
meeting are as important as what happens
during the meeting.
What did other people feel about the
(II) Making Decisions
Making decisions as a group that are
Things to Do:
 fair,   democratic,  and  representative
Check in with people who were quiet
of the will of the group,  is critical and
or who attended for the first time.  Ask
challenging.  Whenever you have more
them how it was for them, tell them
than one person, you have more than one
you were glad they were there.  Let
them know their input is valued;
Most of us have very little experience in
Check in with people who missed the
making decisions in a group of equals.
meeting.  Let them know what hap 
We're either used to having authorities
pened and let them know that they
make our decisions (our parents, our
were missed.  Tell them about the next
teachers, the IRS, the lawmakers, our
meeting and find out what will enable
bosses, our religious leaders) or we go
them to make the next meeting.  Don't
along with the crowd, or we make deci 
guilt trip them or refuse to let them
sions for others (younger siblings,
know what happened;  
friends).  We get used to either complying
or rebelling when we're in the subordi 
Check in with people who seem to
nate position or we tell when we assume
have unresolved feelings.  Ask them
the authority.
about how they felt at the meeting.
Sometimes just having someone
No wonder it's often so difficult to make
acknowledge our feelings is all we
decisions as a group!  We need to learn to
need to let them go.  Sometimes you
share power and this involves learning a
will need to support or encourage them
new skill and a new way of thinking.  The
to talk with someone else with whom
following is a review of common deci 
they are feeling tension; and
sion making structures with their pros
and cons.  You may want to use different
Talk to the next facilitator and give
decision making structures at different
them whatever additional feedback you
times or depending on what kind of deci 
got and also whatever suggestions for
sion you are trying to make.  See Chapter
agenda items, or ways to improve the
1,  Defining Your Group,  for an
meetings that you've thought about.
M a n a g i n g   Y o u r   G r o u p
M     6 1


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